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10 Tips For Settling In

After the chore of packing, this is the fun part of family moving. It's when the adventure begins for your kids in their new home and new neighborhood, as they discover all kinds of wonderful surprises. Here are tips for moving kids into the new home, making new friends and other important ways to ensure a happily-ever-after ending to your move.


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Here's advice that experts recommend for all ages:

1.

Make a positive good-bye to the old home and community.

Here's one of the best tips for family moving. Leave-taking rituals will help provide a sense of closure in your old home, which will make it easier for your kids to settle into the new home and new neighborhood. Here are ideas:
• A few weeks before you move, hold an informal get-together for close friends and neighbors to say good-bye.
• As a family, make a point of visiting favorite restaurants and other special places one more time before you leave.
• When the house or apartment is empty, take a room-by-room "memory walk" with your children. Recall birthday parties in the dining room, holiday events in the living room, stories of bringing the children home as babies – the kinds of memories every family has. Take a last stroll around the outside too.
• Compare how the house feels empty to how it felt with your belongings there. Chances are your children will get an inkling that what really makes a home is the family and your personal things – furniture, pictures, dishes, books, toys.

2.

Plan a welcoming ritual for your new home.

It can be anything that will have meaning for your children and you. For example:
• If the kids are seeing the house for the first time, do a walk-through together to "meet" your new home before your belongings fill the rooms.
• As a family, plant a tree or bush outside as a symbol that this is your home now. If it's wintertime, start something inside that you can transplant in the spring.
• Gather together to hang a family photograph or find a place for an object that is special to your family. If you've always had a swing or a bird feeder in the backyard, make an event of putting the new one up in this home.

3.

Have everyone's "survival necessities" where you can find them immediately in the new home.

That may be "blankie" for baby, favorite pj's for your preschooler, essential CD or sweatshirt for your teen, and the coffee pot for you! Pack a “must haves” suitcase or box for each family member – anything that would cause crying or raise blood pressure if it were missing in action for long. Your first days in your new home—especially that first night and morning—will be so much more pleasant when everyone has the familiar things that make them comfortable.

4.

Re-establish family routines, like mealtimes and bedtimes, right away.

With a move, there's a certain amount of disruption to normal schedules that you can't get around, especially if a significant amount of travel is involved. But once you've moved in, aim to get back on your normal family schedule as quickly as possible. This will help younger children, in particular, who need more consistency. It also sends the important message to all members that you are the same family, just in a new setting. The old rules, routines and rituals still apply.

5.

Prioritize the unpacking process.

You didn't pack in a day, so don't try to unpack in one either. Make your first priority setting up the kids' rooms to help get them comfortable. Put the kitchen, bathroom(s), family room and other high-use rooms at the top of the list. Don't obsess over hanging pictures or other decorations right away. Take time to enjoy getting to know your new home and the wonderful discoveries you and your kids will make about it.

6.

Allow the kids some say in setting up their bedrooms.

This is truly their space in the new home, so let them claim it. Of course, age will depend on how much control they have. At the least, let them decide where their bed goes in the room. If there's a budget for new furnishings, let them help select the new rug or bedspread.

7

Help your children feel comfortable in their new rooms.

Some children have problems sleeping in a new bedroom. It is unfamiliar to them and can become a symbol of any anxieties they feel about the move. Take time to talk about how this room is similar to the child's old room and how it's different. Pay special attention to furnishings and belongings that were in the old room to encourage a sense of familiarity. Recall things about the old room that your child didn't like, such as rattling windows or weird shadows. Help your child discover the good things about this new room.

8

Get familiar with the new neighborhood.

This is important for comfort and safety. You want your kids to know as quickly as possible the boundaries of where they can go and where they can't venture beyond. Taking walks together is the best way to uncover the exciting surprises that await in the new neighborhood. To make a game of it, print out the Scavenger Hunt and Getting Active in the Neighborhood activities on the site.

9

Help your pets settle in.

Your kids will feel more comfortable when they see that their four-legged friends are doing okay. Cats do best when you confine them to one room in the new home. Give them opportunities to explore further but don't push. As they feel comfortable, they'll expand their territory. Keep dogs on a leash until they get to know the neighborhood. In general, don't let cats or dogs roam immediately. The last way you want to meet the neighbors is through a door-to-door search for Fido or Fluffy!

10

Remember, "make new friends but keep the old."

Be active in helping your children make friends in your new community. At the same time, support their need to hold onto their old friends. They will appreciate having these familiar confidantes for sharing their new experiences and discoveries.
Meeting new friends:
• With colleagues from work or new families you meet, set up play dates for younger children to get to know each other.
• Find activities for your school-age children to join, such as sports teams, clubs, lessons and classes. Meeting kids with the same interests increases the odds of going beyond acquaintance to friend.
• Take the initiative and introduce yourself to the neighbors. Your kids' first new friends may literally be living next door. A meet-and-greet can help get those friendships underway.
Staying in touch with the old:
• Pre-paid phone cards can keep calls to old friends from breaking the budget.
• Make plans for an upcoming visit—whether in the new neighborhood or the old.

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10) Remember, 'make new friends but keep the old.' 9) Help your pets settle in. 8) Get familiar with the new neighborhood. 7) Help your children feel comfortable in their new rooms. 6) Allow the kids some say in settline up their bedrooms. 5) Prioritize the unpacking process. 4) Re-establish family routines, like mealtimes and bedtimes, right away. 3) Have everyone's 'survival necessities' where you can find them immediately in the new home. 2) Plan a welcoming ritual for your new home. 1) Make a positive good-bye to the old home and community.